Friday, April 20, 2012

15 Things You Should Give Up to Be Happy

As you all know I am home visiting my parents and their computer is a bit wonky if you know what a mean. They just bought a nice new Mac but Dad thinks my blog stuff ruins it and brings viruses (lame) so I have to use the old one- which sucks ass for picture uploading. So be prepared for few (really just one) pictures my friends!   We will be back to normal Monday!


Btw what happened to blogger? Wowza took me awhile to figure things out this morning!


I just finished reading The Happiness Project, which I highly recommend.

It has made me rethink alot things about my life and do things differently. Shortly after I finished it I came across this article and really related to/liked it. I am not trying to get too deep or preachy but this article was a great read and gave me several things to think about. So enjoy, it is worth reading or I would not post!


**If I am being totally honest I really related to numbers 6 and 8. I never knew I was a complainer til I married Matt and he has made me realize how much of a complainer I am. It is something I am really trying to change. Nobody wants to hang out with someone who is constantly complaining. And as for number 8 I think we all get wrapped up in trying to impress others. I know I do all the time. But the older I have gotten I realize that is not really important at all. I have learned to be true to myself- somedays are easier than others:)**


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Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:


1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?


2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu


3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.


4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle


5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle


6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.


7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.


8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.


9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell


10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer


11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt


12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.


13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.


14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.


15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

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33 comments:

Sadie + Stella said...

These are great reminders. And what is your dad on?!? Viruses with your blog. Nonsense. Enjoy your weekend darling!

Alicia xoxxo said...

Awesome post!!! I am going to print this out and stick it on my fridge! I struggle with #4. I am my own worst enemy. And #8. No need for this really. And when I gave up trying to live up to everyones expectations #15 it was the most freeing feeling I have ever had in my life. Have a great weekend Natalie!
PS-tell your dad your blog won't mess up the Mac! I have one and blogger has never messed it up!;)

Julia {Pawleys Island Posh} said...

GREAT article! 4,5,6 & 7 are my weaknesses. Oh and 12. And probably most of the rest on a small level. ha!

Liz at Style and Ease said...

Awesome article! There is a woman I saw speak in Charlotte at a conference three weeks ago, Terry Hawkins. She wrote a book about the similar situation, and also has a series of children's books. I thought about getting some for Henry. She calls it her Stick Man/Pit Man theory. Your article made me think of her. Have a great weekend!

caycee said...

This was amazing!! loves reading it, and I struggle with so many of these things! Love it when you do post like this ;) Miss your sweet face,, so hurry home Love!

Jill said...

I love this book. A friend of mine passed this out to all us girls last year, it really made me stop and think!

OK I have no idea what is going on with blogger but I don't like it!! have fun with your parents:)

lizziefitz said...

Great post! I know this article will help so many of your readers. I still struggle with #15 , I am and always will be a people pleaser. When I take a break from it , I find that it is extremely lonely. People become very disappointed in me and disappear from my life . When I return to people pleasing , friends , family and neighbors suddenly reappear?

Leslie Ann said...

Great post! I've been working on these same things for the past 1-2 years. Its incredibly hard to do and I've found I have to be vigilant but I live a much happier life now.

Katharine @ SouthernBourbonMountains said...

You are here?!

Georgine Jeffries said...

Love this post- something everyone can stew over!! Definitely felt struck by #5, the world really is my oyster and I need to remember that!!! :) Hope you are having fun in CLT, love this town!

Liz {Sequins And Stripes} said...

Oh my gosh I totally needed this today! I can relate to number 2, I have really bad control issues and it is so much better to just let it go. I re-read this twice, happy weekend! xo

Megan - Style Me Swanky said...

Love these. Such great reminders for living a better life!

17 Perth said...

Such great suggestions....love number 15. I quit teaching recently when I realized this. :) So many of these resonated with me. Great post.

Taylor said...

I just downloaded the audio book on iTunes... I can't wait to start it today. Those 15 things are something I should probably re-read more often!! have a great weekend love!

http://itsthelittlethingsblog.blogspot.com/

Chassity (Look Linger Love) said...

We could all stand to remember these things.

And I'm not allowed to ever use Josh's computer either for the same reason. Ha!

Nat said...

Such a good reminder! I'd 3,4,6, & 7 and maybe 13 are all things I need to work on!

The Daily Stroll said...

Great post! I need to read that book because I definitely struggle with a few of these myself :) Have a great weekend!

H.G. The Countess said...

I keep hearing great things about that book, I need to read it!

Tara {The Silver Lining} said...

I'm in the middle of that book, and I'm really enjoying it! I love how it has so much meaning but yet it's the simple things in our everyday lives that we can change slightly and make such a big impact with. Thanks for sharing this article!! Puts things into persepective for sure. I need to focus on quite a few of these. :) Have a great weekend.

Aubrey {All Things Bright and Beautiful} said...

I think I really need to read that book...giving up "need to impress others" and "the luxury to criticize"??? Might as well have told me to give up shopping! (c:

P.S. I hopped over to tell you that your Anne Taylor gorg neon bracelet is 40% for their friends and family event. I know, I'm an enabler (c:

Val said...

What a awesome post. I really stopped and thought about my life. Very interesting. Thank you so much for sharing this.

Andrea Morris said...

Great post, this is a book that I definitely need to read! Thanks for sharing!

Lisa said...

Ok you convinced me, just ordered the book! Great article too!

tenth avenue south said...

needed this today! Thanks for sharing!!

esl828 said...

I LOVED the Happiness Project - very awesome. Loved this post as well.

Jennifer {ooh la la} said...

Great post. I needed reminders on several of these great points.

Have a fantastic weekend!

Chicago Mom (Heather) said...

I have the same issues as you! I also am a control freak. Yikes! Have fun at your parents!

I was inspired by your hair and chopped mine too! :-)

Sam [The Peak of Tres Chic] said...

What great points! I so enjoyed reading this!

Sara Mueller said...

Great advice!! need to read this book. BTW we have moved to Wilmington NC.

Gaby [The Vault Files] said...

Haha my dad never allowed me to even stand close to his computer, completely forbidden!
I'm sure I'll come back again to read this post again, thanks for sharing!

Bud and Leo said...

love this - I feel refreshed after reading it! and I do so many of those things but constantly try not to :)

The Pretty Pinhead said...

Very nice post! I have a lot to work on but I'm always up for a challenge!! I'm a new follower of your blog! Would love the follow back :)

The Pretty Pinhead

Brooke Wise said...

I am finally catching up on important reading so even though I am almost 2 weeks behind this has proven to be one of the REAL important reads. I love this and I am ordering this book now. Thank you for sharing!